The Last 4 Days
by wickedoracle93
Summary: This is a story about the last days of Maggie and Alex. Between episode 3.4 and 3.5.
1. Chapter 1

**I loved Alex and Maggie as a couple. I thought the writers made great choices with how and why these two adults would end their relationship. Most of all, I am glad they did not kill off Maggie. I was curious to see the days leading to the final break up. I wanted to explore that story. I hope everyone likes it. If you do or don't, please leave me a little constructive feedback in the review section. Thank you.**

Day 1

After laying in bed all night staring at the ceiling and crying, I still couldn't find a way out of this mess. I knew I would have to end this, but every time I thought about those words being said out loud, my stomach churned and my heart tightened. What was I going to do?

As that thought passed through my head, Maggie, who was currently draped across me, laid on her back. I didn't move for fear of making her aware that I was awake also. We needed to start this conversation, but I wanted to let her think for a few more minutes that we were still happy.

She got out of bed and walked to the bathroom. As she walked back into the room, I turned my head to look at her. She smiled at me, "Hey, babe." That one simple greeting and expression made me sit up and start to sob. I couldn't be strong anymore and pretend that nothing was going to change.

"Holy shit! Alex, what is wrong?" She ran to my side of the bed as I sat hunched over with my head in my hand. She wrapped her arms around me but I couldn't speak. I buried my head into her chest. We sat like this for a long time as she rubbed my back.

I finally sat up and looked her in the eye. "Alex, please talk to me." She placed her hand on my cheek. She wouldn't make this easy.

"I have been thinking about this for days, and I can't keep pretending that this does not mean as much to me as it does. I have tried to find a way out. I don't know how to fix this."

"Alex, come on." She knew I was talking around a super important subject, and I would keep avoiding it if she allowed it. I was really good at that, but avoidance wouldn't work this time. She stared at me until I broke the silence.

"Maggie, I do want to have children. I want to be a mom. I don't want to force you to be anything you don't want to be, and I can't force myself to do the same." I stopped talking and waited for her to change her mind, to tell me that she felt the same way and that she was wrong. I watched her face fall and she smiled weakly.

"I love you. Please let's talk about this more tonight. We need to go to work." She walked over to the closet and proceed to get dressed for work. After she was done, she walked over to me and kissed me on the lips. "I'll see you later."

I sat stunned as I watched her walk out the door. What just happened? I wanted to crawl back in bed and skip work. I didn't want to think about this anymore. I started to cry again, but I stopped myself.

"Jesus, Danvers! Get it together." I wiped my eyes. I got up out of bed and got ready for work. When I arrived at the DEO, I was determined to hide in the lab and avoid Kara's probing questions as much as possible. Thankfully, she was off saving the world with J'onn.

Suspiciously, Maggie was quiet throughout the day. Only one text asking what I wanted for dinner. No flirty or I love you texts. I really wanted to know what she was thinking.

As for my state of mind, I had that distinct feeling of wanting to burst out in tears constantly. I had that weird empty feeling in my chest like my heart had stopped beating. I had that incessant buzzing in the back of my brain like something horrible was sneaking up on me. I was very aware of the fact that I was having an anxiety attack. The only thing that stopped it, was convincing myself that Maggie and I were not breaking up.

I knew we would be okay. How could she not want kids with me? We were in love. We were meant to be together. Maybe she just needed time. She would be a great mom. She just needed convincing. We would work it out. "See, we would be fine." I kept telling myself when I fell down my wormhole of fear and despair.

I walked to our front door and stood staring at it for a long time. I could smell food being cooked inside and hear the sound of muffled music. I couldn't make out what it was but I hope it wasn't the Barenaked Ladies. I couldn't take the fact that my favorite group would be forever associated with such a horrible moment in time. I took a deep breath and opened the door.

Maggie was standing in the kitchen cooking tacos. She looked up and smiled such a warm beautiful smile. "Hi, Babe."

"Maggie, we need to talk," I said as I sat down at the counter.

"We do, but let's do this first." She sat a plate of fish tacos and glass of whiskey in front of me.

We ate in silence. By the end of dinner, I finished off three glasses of whiskey. I was definitely feeling better. I sat on the couch while she cleaned up. By the time Maggie sat next to me, I no longer felt like talking. I just felt like forgetting everything for a while. I took her hand and led her into the bedroom.

As always, the sex was amazing. We were slow and deliberate in our touches and kisses. We let the other fully fall over the edge and we held each other until we fell asleep. Why was I choosing to walk away from this again?


	2. Chapter 2

Day 2

I was famous for how I could hold my liquor. I never woke up with a hangover. So I wasn't hungover, but instead, I was really angry. Yesterday, the whole day passed without Maggie and I talking about our issues. I couldn't do that today.

I sat up in bed and shook Maggie as gently as I could. "Maggie, come on. Wake up."

As much I didn't want to deal with this before work, I did not want our avoidance of these issues hanging over my day one more time. So, I decided to choose this very moment to start the conversation.

She groaned and buried her face in the pillow. "What time is it?"

"It is 6 o'clock."

"You want to do this now?"

"Yes."

"Let me go to the bathroom." Again, she groaned and dragged herself out of bed.

When she walked back in the bedroom I was sitting cross-legged on the bed, staring at her, I was determined to have this conversation. I was good at avoiding some things at first, but I was always willing to talk the issue out. Gay was not a word I was willing to use for a long time, but once I figured out that was who I was, I embraced every aspect of what that meant to my life. Maggie had a tendency to avoid the situation altogether.

"Alex, come on. Let's do this tonight."

"Why? So you get me drunk and fuck me to sleep again." That was not very fair of me, but I wanted some emotion out of her.

She turned to really look at me. I could read the shock and the hurt on her face. "Jesus, Alex! Why would you say that? If you wanted to make me angry, good job. I'm pissed! You didn't seem to have a problem with me fucking you and you never have a problem getting drunk." She walked to the side of the bed and stopped. She had a look of rage on her face that I have never seen aimed at me.

I couldn't breathe for a second. This was taking a turn that I didn't want. I closed my eyes and exhaled slowly. "I am sorry. I really don't want to say horrible things to you, but I am so scared." I felt the bed move, so I slowly opened my eyes. Maggie was bent down with her hands on the bed in front of me. Her face was so close to mine. She was crying.

"We will talk about this tonight." She grabbed her clothes and went into the bathroom to change.

"Fuck!" I changed as quickly as I could and ran into the kitchen. If I needed to, I would stand in front of the door to prevent her from leaving. This felt all very childish. I was reacting to her; she was the one that was acting like a child.

The door of the bathroom opened. Maggie grabbed her coat from the back of the chair and her keys from the coffee table. I strode over to the front door and stood there with my arms crossed.

We stood face to face, "Alex, stop it. We are better than this. I need to go to work; you need to go to work. Let's be adults about this."

I narrowed my eyes at her and moved into the kitchen. Before the door closed, I heard, "I love you."

"Goddamnit." I threw a mug against the cabinet. Then I grabbed my jacket and keys and ran off to work.

I wanted to avoid Kara again, but no such luck of that today. We needed to run some routine tests from yesterday's mission. I would be spending at least two or three hours with her. Most of the time, I loved spending time with my sister, but I didn't want to talk about the last two days with Kara. The one person that I really wanted to talk to, was avoiding me.

Kara walked in with her Supergirl suit on. She seemed like she was in a good mood. Which was strange lately, since she was still nursing a broken heart after Mon-el's departure. I wasn't in the mood for much of anything, so I avoided eye contact as much as I could.

Of course, she picked up on my surly disposition because no one knows me like Kara. " Hi, Alex." She didn't need to say anything more. With that greeting, she asked the question without verbalizing it.

"Hi." I decided to be honest with her because I just couldn't play games right now. "I don't want to talk about anything but work. I want to lose myself in something that I know is real and secure." I was holding the ophthalmoscope to her face. Kara wrapped her hand around mine and rubbed it with her thumb. We didn't need to say anything else.

The morning flew by, Kara and I talked about silly things as I ran my tests. Things were going well until Maggie walked into the lab. I know my body stiffened up, I stopped talking and maybe even stopped breathing. I definitely tightened my grip on Kara's arm. By no means was I hurting her, but she felt how acutely I reacted to Maggie's presence.

Maggie stood in front of us for a very awkward few seconds, she said, "Hi Supergirl. Hi Agent Danvers."

Poor Kara. "Uh...Hi, Detective Sawyer?" She really didn't understand why Maggie was being so formal, seeing that no one else was in the lab.

"What do you want, Maggie?"

"I have a blood sample that I need you to run for us."

"You have lab techs. Can't they do it?"

"They did, but the tests came up inconclusive. The DEO has equipment and experts that we don't have." She was trying her damnedest to keep her voice even-keeled, but she was on the verge of either crying or exploding at me.

I walked towards her and yanked the vial out of her hand. She followed me to the testing station. "Look, Alex, I would not have come here if I had any other choice. You are the best there is and I need your help to solve this case." Now, I was going to cry.

"Ok, but can you hang out with Win until this is done?" I didn't look up from my microscope. Without any more discussion, she left the room.

"Alex, I know this isn't any of business, but…"

"Nope. It isn't." I whipped myself and the desk chair over to the computer to print out Maggie's information.

I heard Kara exhale slowly before she said, "I am here for you, Alex." It was low and pained. She knew she wasn't in any place to argue with me or try to force me to talk. She has been shut down after Mon-el left and wouldn't even entertain the idea of opening up to me or anyone else.

I stopped before I walked out of the room. "We are done for the day. You can go. Thanks." That sounded so cold.

I found Maggie sitting next to Win; they were smiling and laughing. She was so beautiful. I haven't seen this side of her in a couple days and it killed me that it wasn't me that was making her that happy. I walked over to them and handed her the blood sample and print out.

"I hope this helps." I walked away without another word. As I walked back to the lab, the feeling of loneliness crashed in on me. In a very short time, I had done a great job of alienating the two most important people in my life.

I sat at my desk staring at the monitor. I didn't know how much time had past because I became so occupied thinking about the smashed mug on the kitchen floor, the tears on Maggie's face, and this pain that felt like an anvil hanging over my head. I had to deal with all of it, but I didn't know where to start.

I shook myself out my daze and finished out the rest of the day. When I left work, it was around 7 pm and I hoped Maggie was home. As I pulled up to our apartment building, I saw both her police department issued car and her motorcycle. I let out a sigh of relief, then I got nervous about the prospect of what was to come.

When I walked in the house, Maggie was sitting on the couch reading Kerouac; she put down the book and stared at me. "Let's talk." The determination on her face told me everything that I needed to know about how the night would go.

"First off, I know it was a mistake for stringing you along for the past couple days, but the way you treated me today sucked."

"You are right about both. Maggie, I am in agony. How do we not want the same things? I hate the thought of losing this, of losing you. Maggie help me." I couldn't breathe.

"Babe, I don't know what to do. I don't want to lose you either." I sat down on the couch next to her, but neither one of us reached out to the other.

"I guess we skipped "Talk about Kids" on the list of things to talk about before we got engaged. Why didn't we talk about this?"

"Alex, did we have any time to come up with talking points for our relationship? Everything happened so quickly. It was so intense. So much happened in a short amount of time: you coming out, me getting shot, your dad coming back, you were kidnapped, the world almost ending three or four times. "

"Is that why you don't want to have kids? Because the world is so fucked up." I held my breath for a second. I wanted her to give me a reason as to why this was happening.

"No, babe. There doesn't need to be some huge revelation as to why I don't want kids. Some women don't want to be mothers. I like my life. I like our life the way it is. Kids change everything and I don't want that change in my life."

I knew some people would label her attitude as selfish and immature, but I didn't think that about her for one second. I knew how much she cared about people and the world around her. I knew how much she believed she could make the city better by being a good cop. I knew how deeply she loved me. I only thought of her as wonderful.

I must have taken too long to respond. "I know this makes me selfish."

I grabbed her hands and looked her in the eyes, "No, It doesn't. I get it, but all I feel right now is anger. I am angry at myself because I didn't ask about kids. I am angry at you because you didn't think to tell me. I am angry at us because we can't fix this. I want this conversation to end with it all figured out, but I don't know how to get there." I stopped abruptly. I closed my eyes and put my intertwined fingers against my mouth. I exhaled slowly as tears started to fall. I could feel her move towards me. I jumped to my feet. "I am tired I need to go to sleep."

"I will sleep on the couch tonight."

"OK." I wasn't going to argue with her. I needed the space.

 **This is not finished. I will be adding another chapter to this story soon.**


	3. Chapter 3

**This is the last chapter. Please leave a review, good or bad. Thanks for reading.**

Day 3

I awoke to an empty bed. The apartment was still dark, which meant it was early. Today was Saturday, so we didn't need to report to work; we had a free day. We normally spent the day running errands and enjoying every moment together. That was not going to happen today. I couldn't sit around fighting and rehashing the same discussion over and over again. I had to get out of this space. Part of me felt like I was running away again, but the walls were closing in on me.

Quickly and quietly, I got myself ready for my escape without waking up Maggie. I stopped to grab the keys in a bowl on the dining table. I covered the keys with my whole hand to ensure that all noise was canceled out. As I was paying close attention to this delicate operation, I bumped into a chair causing a loud bang to reverberate throughout the silent apartment.

Maggie's head popped up over the back of the couch to look at me. "Babe!?"

Well, shit. "Hi."

She propped her chin on the back of the couch. "You are leaving." That definitely was a statement.

"Yes, just for a little while. I need to take a ride and clear my head."

"Will you be back?"

I nodded as I stared off at the floor. I walked towards the door to leave; Maggie grabbed my hand as walked past the couch. I leaned down, put my hands on both sides of her face, and kissed her hard and deep. She started to moaned; she moved so she was kneeling on the couch and we could be face-to-face. Under normal circumstances, I would have abandoned my plans of leaving her, and we would have spent the next couple hours naked in bed. Today was not that day.

I broke off the kiss. "I love you." It's been a couple days since I last spoke those words.

"I love you too." I left the apartment.

I got on my motorcycle and rode towards nothing in particular. I had no idea where I should go. I thought about going to Midvale to see my mom, but I just didn't want to explain everything to her. Still, I absentmindedly drove in that direction and ended up at the beach. I parked and sat on a park bench staring at the ocean. There weren't a lot of people at the beach, but the few people that were there, I am sure noticed the lone woman dressed head to toe in black leather with a motorcycle helmet sitting next to her. I know I stood out seeing that everyone else was, at the most, wearing t-shirts and jeans.

I didn't care. I loved the beach. I loved the sounds and smells. I wasn't a fan of the sand but I loved the water. Floating in the water is what I assumed it felt like for Kara to fly. Free of all restrictions, nothing holding you down.

I wanted to jump in the ocean so bad, but wet leather is not a good idea and either was swimming in my underwear.

I sat there a long time listening to waves crashing on the shore. A sound that always brought me peace, except for now, when it was being undercut by the sound two girls laughing as they ran down the beach. The girls looked to be in their mid-teens. They seemed to be challenging each other to a race to determine who was the fastest. The older, taller girl was clearly winning. As soon as they passed the agreed-upon finish line, the older girl turned and proceeded to tease her sister for losing.

The younger girl sulked for a second and then had a brilliant idea. "I'll race you again back to Mom and Dad." She took off running.

"Hey!" The older girl followed her towards a couple about 30 yards away.

They reminded me of Kara and I. We would do the same thing. We would race each other. When I would win, I would remind Kara of how a human beat her. Looking back, she let me win because she loved me and she was being kind. She could have clearly beat me a thousand times over, but she gave me my small victories.

I watched the girls laugh and run around their parents. They looked so happy. I couldn't take it anymore. I started to cry again. I hopped on my bike and I drove home.

It was around noon when I got home and Maggie was washing the dishes. I sat down at the bar. "Maggie, can we still do this? Can we still pretend to be a couple after knowing that we want different things? I can't change your mind and you can't change my mind." She turned around so she was facing me from the other side of the bar.

"Maybe, we still need time. I don't want to end something so great without really thinking it through. Alex, we have something people search their whole lives for. We can figure this out. We don't need to do anything that we will regret later. I love you."

I exhaled slowly. "Yeah, me too." The truth was that I loved her so much that it hurt.

"Alex, I think I am going to stay at Mark's tonight." A fellow cop that she had known since the Academy. "I think we need some space." We both knew what was coming. I knew we were trying to put off the inevitable, but I was willing to the play this game for one more night.

She grabbed her bag from the bedroom. She was ready to go, but I really didn't want her to go. I wanted to beg her to stay, but I knew it was better for her to leave. She could stay at Mark's and I would stay with Kara. We needed a change of scenery.

"I will be at Kara's," I said as she walked out the door.

When I drove up to Kara's apartment, I wasn't even sure she was home. Before I finished knocking the first time, she swung the door open. I knew she had super hearing, but did she have super smell too? How did she know I was here so quickly?

"Hi." She was chipper. On second thought, maybe I should leave.

"Hi, can I hang out here tonight?"

"Of course."

I walked in and sat on my side of the couch, and she sat on her side. "Kara, I don't want to talk. I just want to pig out on pizza and watch movies. Can we do that?"

She smiled, "Sounds like a great idea." She jumped up off the couch, rubbed my knee and kissed me on my forehead. "I'll call for pizza. You find a movie."

After we ate and watched Legally Blonde followed by Mean Girls, I crawled into bed with Kara. When Kara first came to Earth, she would get nightmares about her planet's destruction or her parents or her time lost in space. She would get so scared and wouldn't know what to do, so she would get in my bed. She would wait until I fell asleep and each morning I would wake up with Kara laying next to me. At first, I would get mad and scream at her, "Stay out of my bed because it is bad enough that I have to share a room with you." Before long, it made me happy that the scared Kryptonian felt comfortable and safe when she was with me. Looking back, I was glad I could be there for her and tonight she was returning the favor.

I curled up in a ball next to her, she draped her arm over me and we fell asleep.

Day 4

Since I woke up before Kara, I made coffee for us. As I was getting dressed, my phone buzzed. _"When are you coming home?"_ It was around 7 am.

" _I am not sure."_

When I returned to the kitchen, Kara was sitting at the counter with two coffee mugs next to her. I grabbed one of the mugs, but I decided not to sit down. I let out a long sigh, "I need to stop hiding. I have to go home."

"I'm here if you need me."

I chugged the coffee, hugged Kara, and I left for home.

I walked up to my door. I stood there for a long second staring at it. I placed my hand on the gray wood as I thought about Maggie sitting in the apartment anxiously waiting for my arrival. I knew the anticipation was killing her because it was killing me. I knew walking in that door would change everything. We both knew it was over. We couldn't pretend this wasn't ending anymore. It hurt so much, but Maggie and I couldn't go any further. We had to say it out loud.

I put the key in the door and opened it.


End file.
